


Family Values

by Kaggath



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Cathars (Star Wars), Chiss (Star Wars), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 21:04:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18582538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaggath/pseuds/Kaggath
Summary: Dax struggles to acclimate to life outside of Chiss society.





	Family Values

“I think you need to have a talk with Mama,” Lörem said, resting his cheek on Dax’s head, rubbing small circles across his back. Dax pressed his forehead into Lörem’s chest, trying to hold it all in.

Lörem’s family was so…big. Brothers, sisters, cousins. Aunts and uncles and friends that seemed like family. Cathar must have been much more social–or rather, casually social–than Chiss. He’d been welcomed immediately, and had no idea how to handle any of it. Two of Lörem’s youngest siblings had attached themselves to Dax’s legs before he’d been there ten standard minutes. 

It was all so overwhelming. But Dax had been cautiously hopeful until…what was her name? Aunt Sonda. Until Aunt Sonda had said those words.

“Of course we’ve come to Mama’s house,” she scolded a mid-maturity Cathar that mostly avoided Dax. “‘Round here we appreciate family values. What would cousin Lörem think if we didn’t come meet his new fella?”

Family values. The words fell like a cascade of ice and terror. Suddenly everything became too sharp, too loud, too focused. The warm colors burned into his eyes like they were lined with razors. Dax excused himself to the darkest, quietest part of the house. Lörem had followed.

“I don’t…I don’t think I can. I won’t fit in here. There’s too much–”

“Trust me, Dax. You’re gonna feel a lot better if you do. I’ll go deal with everybody else, you just wait here for Mama.”

 

The knock at the door was gentle as her voice.

“Dax? Can I come in?” 

Taking a long, bracing breath, Dax opened the door for her. His face fell into cold neutrality, but he could feel himself cracking. Standing at a respectful, formal ready, his hands pressed fractionally too hard against his thighs as he tried to hold himself in. Mama closed the door quietly behind herself.

_Rude. Disgraceful. Inconsiderate._ He should have done that for her. The low light didn’t dampen the hot twinkling of silvery trinkets lining the walls. They were too bright, too sharp. It felt like they were cutting his eyes. Dax wanted to shut them, to cover his head and wrap himself up and stay there until the feeling passed, but he couldn’t.

“Lörem said you wanted to talk to me?” Mama pressed.

“I’m fine Ma–ah. Hm. Ma’am. I only needed to take a moment to…acclimate.” _Quit muttering. Speak clearly. Don’t waste their time with your hesitation._

She took his hands from his sides, running her soft thumbs over his knuckles while she smiled gently to him. The casual touch was foreign to him. He tried not to recoil.

“It can be a lot, can’t it? A whole new planet, and people you’ve never met. Some of the younger folk can get a little rowdy. They’re excited to meet you, but if you need to take a moment there ain’t nothing wrong with that. Recon we do things a little different ‘round here, but our way ain’t the only way. If you need us to do somethin’ for ya all you need to do is ask.”

Her smile was the only thing Dax could handle looking at in the hyperclarity. 

“I think, Ma’am,” Dax said, struggling not to clench his fingers, to hold hers tightly to him, “That I am the one who will need to behave differently.”

“Oh now don’t you worry about you, hon. You just be yourself, and we’ll love whoever that is. Our boy’s got a good head on his shoulders and we trust him to make his own decisions. If that decision is loving you, then we love you too. ‘Round here we appreciate family valu–”

He couldn’t stop himself that time. _Dramatic. Unnecessary. Ridiculous._ Dax struggled with himself and lost. Wrapping his arms around himself, he turned away from her.

“I’m not…I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“Dax sweetheart, is there something wrong with what I said? I don’t want you gettin’ the wrong idea about my meaning.”

She didn’t touch him again. Didn’t command he look at her. He knew he should, that he was supposed to, but took refuge in the small quiet that he had while he could.

“I didn’t…I couldn’t fit into what family values I had before. And now…with everything so different, how can I now? I can’t be who I’m supposed to be. I can’t be…”

“Well now Dax, we do put an emphasis on family values, but you can’t get so wrapped up in family values that you forget to value your family.”

He had to close his eyes. The too much of everything pierced into him. He could feel the tears, a sting that began in his throat as he clenched his teeth to hold it all down.

“Can I give you a hug, Dax?”

He answered with a nod, and sobbed into her shoulder.


End file.
